[Dise Bamf]

Masked Invaders down to Conviction

[Andorrabell]

Rocking it! Gratz CV!

[Deathincarnate]

Two server first this week... apps welcome... head hunters from Povar dont bother we are on your heels...

[Havoc]

Grats on FTK... keep it up.

*Havoc - 85 FS zerker*

[Poisonwaters]

Thanks havoc!

Looking forward to giving Brath's muddy ass a good rodgering after he wore me like a condom last night! /grins evilly.

Hey - you know Havoc we might welcome a good berserker... LOL. Tell maathik I said hi.

[Bengalee]

This post needs a backstory, so here goes.

Greetings, Everquest Raiders, Groupers, and No lifers!

This is your Anchorman, Bengalee Sarcasticasshole reporting.

First up, an overturned taffy truck lead to an infestation of ants in scenic Pellucid Grotto. By the time Conviction arrived on the scene, they had already consumed most of the local vegetation, wildlife, populace, and didn't even leave any taffy for us. What dicks! So Dise said, "Good idea, I'm gonna light up a bowl." After that, Torque decided that we should kill them. When asked why, he merely responded, "I'm out of gnomes to eat." Good answer, besides, grasshopper...ant...things...are delicious! Froak!

After sending wave after wave of their own men in a futile attempt to make us reach our hard coded kill limit and shut down, we faced off against their leader, Protauris Brannigan. After a series of hilarious mishaps too epic to go into here, and some intense Snusnu, Protauris fell before the blades of Conviction, but we had realized our folly! We had forgotten to bring the insecticide! Fortunately, one of the drunken yolkels was kind enough to spare a bug bomb, in exchange for sexual service from Gorehammer.

Moving on to our second story,
Tragedy struck today as a cult of psychopathic badgers hoped up on shrooms was decimated today. The culprits appear to have been a marauding gang of Tom Brokaws. While they may appear harm....hold on, I am receiving an update. Apparently the Tom Brokaws were not responsible for this, but once again Conviction, kicking ass and taking names/sex/location.
When asked for commentary on the issue, Deathincarnate responded, "Must turn left," Poisonwaters stated, "Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man." Ok, thanks for that pearl of wisdom. Finally, when Torque was questioned, he could only reply in a drawl so thick no one on the news team could understand what he said. In this situation, I did what any great investigator does. I made stuff up. Here's what I think Torque said.
"Jolly good show out there old bean. I must say, I had a splendid time."

After we realized that this event was nothing more than Nascar, only more boring, we decided to step things up. We replaced the Paladin pit crews with what you see below.



After all the other badger members of the badger racing cult had crashed into a wall of fiery death, the champion called Torque to a one on one race to the finish. Torque of course, declined, so we just fought to the death. Police were called as the massacre/illegal underground racing began, and arrived promptly four hours later, but which time we were already looking up Brath to get our fix of horrible flaming death. Only he got the order mixed up and worked it backwards. Don't worry, Brath, we'll help you get it right next time!